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the thread where i wallow in self-pity - Printable Version

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the thread where i wallow in self-pity - Maximus - 04-30-2014

I've been going about this on the shoutbox for a few minutes, but i understand people want that shit off the shoutbox, so i'll just make a thread about it, i wanted to get this out of my mind.

A few months ago i've been going on about how despite the fact my life is literally sitting on the computer, i'm fine with it since i got my laptop and people to talk to on the internet. About an hour ago though, i've remembered an afterschool club i frequented, and their site. So i visited the site, and it had a shit load of memories, old friends, some which frequent the club to this year according to the site. I used to do so many varied activities back there, sometimes we went on a trip to some other place, a museum, a zoo, i horse rided once, ice skated, there were contests, we could participate in writing a newspaper kind of thing for the club...

And well, then the fact that i was lonely as fuck caught up to me, and now i'm feeling pretty upset because of what i am now. My last visit was about 2 months after i stopped frequenting the club and started missing it, i went there during some sort of holiday, we celebrated it, there was a table full of snacks and food, reunited with some of the buddies there and after a good 2 hours of live, i promised i'd visit at least once a week and they said they looked forward to seeing me again.

But, it was my last visit after all..then it just happened because of homeschooling and the fact the house had to be locked in case of thieves or strangers coming in (Which i think is total bullshit, i never seen that happen to anybody in this country), i couldn't visit them again and then 2 years later i had to move out far away from there.

And since that visit, i've just sat on the computer. Just 3 years ago, i've been doing all those fun activities with my friends, now i'm surfing the internet and playing video games. It fucking sucks. It's fun to do this, but i'm not feeling the thrill, and the constant laughter, the excitement of being able to do something new. It's just not there anymore when you communicate with text and do everything that you consider fun with just your hands and fingers.

I wanna feel that kind of thrill again. Make friends, go outside, participate in some activity, but the only kids around my age i see are passserbys on the street, you can't just randomly ask them like that if they wanna be friends. This ain't facebook yo, it's real life, more strict rules towards friendships.

I've got two girl buddies, they live in this house too in fact, but i dunno where to start. They don't really go on visits to unique places either. I would have to take initiative if i wanted to go out somewhere with'em or one of'em (Don't take out of context, i mean go out in a friendly way :-.-Smile, but i don't like forcing shit so i wouldn't know how to speak up and not make it awkward.

But yeah. Hate to admit it, but i'm pathetic. My life's pathetic really. I miss school, i miss the club, i miss pretty much everything at this point. I'm gonna keep going and hope it someday turns around, but until then..it's back to video games with me. That's what i'm best at.


RE: the thread where i wallow in self-pity - Circadian - 04-30-2014

Well, if it means anything, if you ever want to come to the US (not that you would really want to come, it's not that good here, at least not my part of the country) I have a couch you could crash on or whatever. I don't have video games but I have food and booze. Maybe some hookers too if you're into that.


RE: the thread where i wallow in self-pity - Joe - 04-30-2014

yeah, that's something that sucks about homeschooling. I was going to suggest joining a school club for homeschooling, but that'd be a little difficult where you're at. Though something I can recommend you do is look for shit like book clubs, employment/volunteer opportunities, or some other local groups that are relevant to your interests (videogame tournaments perhaps?), places where you can really get in touch with people. Also you should ask one of your house friends to a movie or dinner sometime, make it clear that it isn't like, you know.

Check telephone poles around town, notices at your local library or town hall or other civil institutions, arcades, etc. Something's bound to pop up eventually.

ALSO, you gotta remember that people hate change.They'll refrain from doing anything if it's too different from what they do right now, ESPECIALLY if it's a sedentary lifestyle. So, not only should you make plans to go out there and do stuff, you need to do this repeatedly, talk about it, get really into it, maybe bring a friend if you're nervous. Being a NEET at home all day is probably the easiest way to spend your time. But after too long, it becomes the entirety of your comfort zone, which is a complete bitch to get out of. Escape your comfort zone, man. I believe in you.


RE: the thread where i wallow in self-pity - Haxorus - 04-30-2014

dude come live with me

we could be like fuckbuddys gaymen boyfriends roommates and chill and stuff


RE: the thread where i wallow in self-pity - popinloopy - 04-30-2014

I can't offer much, really. If it's any consolation, what I CAN offer is listening, and maybe some advice. Just lemme know if you ever wanna talk, and I'll always have open ears.


RE: the thread where i wallow in self-pity - Blahs - 04-30-2014

When I'm feeling insignificant or lonely, I usually take a walk or do something outside. One piece of advice I CAN offer is this: If you're at the computer so much, take the time to get REALLY good at something. Through this, you can start meeting new people and doing activities in relation to the thing you're good at. Look up coding, read some weird abstract science/math books, learn a game really god damn good. The easiest way to make new friends is to know a lot about what you can talk about.


RE: the thread where i wallow in self-pity - Maximus - 04-30-2014

(04-30-2014, 06:37 PM)Blahs Wrote: When I'm feeling insignificant or lonely, I usually take a walk or do something outside. One piece of advice I CAN offer is this: If you're at the computer so much, take the time to get REALLY good at something. Through this, you can start meeting new people and doing activities in relation to the thing you're good at. Look up coding, read some weird abstract science/math books, learn a game really god damn good. The easiest way to make new friends is to know a lot about what you can talk about.

I did learn a game really god damn good. A few of them in fact. But real life is a hard world when it comes to talking about video games. You won't find many who would find interest in you by talking about video games all day. You've gotta have your charms, not just knowledge.

And i'd have to start slow. Coding, books..these are all shit that take a lot of time, and as i'm adapted to this shit lifestyle, it's hard to get into something that takes a lot of determination and patience. Its gotta be small steps. From zero to hero. I know, i've learned English. But it all came naturally, it wasn't from school, it was from my endless internet surfing.


RE: the thread where i wallow in self-pity - MaxiTheBanned - 04-30-2014

you are aware that you are sitting too much at the computer. you are worrying that your social life is getting shit/it is already. you are aware of the situation. thats a good start. now try to get out, seriously, just get out and look around. are there any activities? yeah? then do them.


RE: the thread where i wallow in self-pity - Joe - 04-30-2014

you fail to realize how laid knowing a foreign language can get you. The answer is pretty laid. in the words of the immortal philosopher napoleon dynamite, "girls only want boyfriends who have great skills"


RE: the thread where i wallow in self-pity - Aaronthebaron - 05-01-2014

I don't know how much access you have to the nearest town/ place with people, but you could try joining some sort of club. Its difficult finding something with people your age without a school, but there must be some scouts/cubs equivalent.
Martial arts clubs usually have quite young people of a variety of ages, and most towns have martial arts clubs. (plus you learn wicked skillz mon)
Honestly the easiest way to meet people is to meet them in a context that isnt wholly focused on meeting them. That's why most people are such good friends with people they meet at work/school/clubs etc.
Plus going to a club would get you out of the house, and I've found a big part of not feeling shit is breaking out of whatever rut I'm in.